If I had been asked to
mentor six months ago, I would have definitely been interested but probably would
have declined, thinking it wouldn’t realistically fit into my busy schedule.
Between work and school I feel I
barely have time for my important “me” time. However, I know that when I find
something I truly want to do, I manage to find the time. Yes, I want to
help others and make this world a better place. But building a
relationship is not a task to draw a line through once accomplished. I
hadn’t anticipated how much mentoring would impact me.
In January, I started a
one semester internship at Trusted Mentors as part of earning my masters in
social work. After a couple months connecting mentors and mentees, I knew
I wanted to become involved more than professionally. About a month ago I
expressed my interest in becoming a volunteer mentor. I had a general
understanding of what that involved. As Trusted Mentors works with
individuals who are at risk of homelessness, I imagined applying mentoring in
this context.
I admit, the idea of
mentoring made me assess my knowledge of homelessness, and frankly, I found
myself feeling a little insecure. Though I feel stable and accomplished
and therefore able to be a role model--what did I know about overcoming
homelessness or poverty? It is one thing to experience the stress of possible poverty, but quite another to actually
experience it. Before my anxiety
increased too much, I was quickly calmed by the Trusted Mentors staff who
reassured me that the most important part of mentoring is building a healthy
relationship.
What does a healthy
relationship look like-- stable, trusting, accepting, supportive. My
mentee described a mentor as “someone I can be open and honest with, without
any judgment.” And I could help her reach her goals through “support… and
be[ing] nice.” I love my mentee’s answers and they gave me confidence
that I can provide the support she needs.
Having experienced
prejudice and discrimination myself, I can relate to not wanting to be judged.
Mentoring started me thinking about what we each need, and supportive,
positive relationships are a need I think we often don’t think about. How
often do we ask ourselves, “What healthy relationships do I have in my life?”
My appreciation for healthy relationships has greatly increased as I
interact with individuals who have little or no support.
As an intern, I am
genuinely giddy to hear mentees benefiting from the mentoring process. I have
not been matched very long, but I have thoroughly enjoyed learning more about
my mentee. I see strengths and beautiful qualities in my mentee, which
she doesn’t yet realize. I am witnessing how a healthy relationship can
help her view herself and her future more positively. I feel myself
learning and growing in bounds as my perspective broadens. I am deeply touched
by her trust and vulnerability when she confides in me. I look forward to
our friendship growing over the following year and longer.
If you enjoy volunteering, I highly recommend giving mentoring a chance!
Marea Kinney is a Graduate Student Intern with
Trusted Mentors through the IUPUI School of Social Work.
