Thanks to Janet (not real name) for sharing her story of mentoring a Second Helpings’ mentee.
When I first began mentoring, I didn’t quite know how to support my mentee. She seemed to have all the help she required. She was doing well in school, and staying busy with her family and friends. I didn’t see or hear from her much because of her busy life. I thought she was on the right track. Did she really need me?? I was lucky to be matched with such a creative, smart, caring woman, but I was having problems reaching out to her. She did want to have a mentor in her life; I just needed to give her enough time to trust me and share her problems and struggles.
When we met during the first few months of our relationship, we had easy conversation about our day-to-day lives. She talked quite a bit about her past, explaining why she was in her current situation. I tried to not question her too much; I genuinely enjoyed listening to her story (she has a great sense of humor too). I was learning about her complex life a little bit at a time, which was fine with me. I wanted to be a part of her support system, yet I still questioned exactly how I was going to do that.
Each time we got together (usually at a coffee shop with baked goods!), she shared something new about herself. I was beginning to see how I may “fit in” with her busy life. I had an “aha” moment when I realized how I could have a positive influence on her life. I’m someone who offers her a different perspective; she listens to my opinions and ideas. I realize she may be sharing some thoughts and concerns mainly with me; I’m a “safe” person for her to bounce ideas off of. I also give her a reason to “get out” and explore. Really, I feel I’m there to listen more than anything.