Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Spending the Holidays Alone


Mary spent Thanksgiving alone in her apartment.

She admits that a church friend did give her a call, late afternoon, to ask if she could drop a plate by. Mary already had food; what she wanted was companionship.

In 2001, Mary lost her job. As a divorced woman with no children, she found herself without a safety net. She lived in three different Indianapolis homeless shelters during her two year stint of homelessness. “I knew I didn’t like being out on the street (but it was) hard to live under rules (such as curfew) as an adult.”

“Once I got housed, it made me really appreciate it…being able to lock the door. You have your own door and key, you can cook in the kitchen if you want, or take a long soak in the tub. I like my privacy.” Mary has now been housed for eight years thanks to Shelter Plus Care and a partner agency, Partners in Housing.

 Because she was once a beneficiary of services, she is motivated to give back to the community that helped her become housed. Mary serves on the CHIP Advocacy Council and enjoys public speaking and volunteering at different events such as the annual Homeless Person’s Memorial. “Count me in- I used to be a homeless person. Just because somebody’s homeless doesn’t mean they don’t have value.”

Mary spoke to me today at a local coffee shop as I delved into her hopes for a mentor match. Mary says, “I feel like it will be nice to have a mentor.” She’s a little leery and not that trusting when it comes to relationships. She says that she’s been burned in the past. However, the prospect of companionship has promise.

When asked how a mentor could best support her now, Mary said three things: “Be committed. Be encouraging. Be prepared for anything because life has bumps in the road. Realize that we are all unique.”
As Mentor Match Manager at Trusted Mentors

Friday, October 19, 2012

Waiting to Exhale


Last night, as I thought about the events of the day, I wondered if I made any impact. Of course, my work as Mentor Match Manager is meaningful on a daily basis. Matching homeless mentees with loving, giving, caring mentors is a life-giving experience. Today was no different.

One woman in particular made an impact on me. Her story is really not so different from my own. We are about the same age, we are both single mothers and strong in our faith. The main difference in our walks today is that she has struggled with a drug addiction that has resulted in temporary separation from her three children. As she sat across from me in one of our partner women’s shelters, our eyes met and I shuddered as I processed how painful that experience must be.  With difficulty, she shared how her addiction tore through her life and ripped away the only constancy she has known: her relationship with her children.

She sat beside me, well dressed, attractive, and confident. Looking at her as a passerby, you would never guess her to be homeless. She simply doesn’t fit the image in our minds. Yet, she is. In fact, we have had more single moms in their thirties and forties referred to Trusted Mentors and now awaiting a mentor match than any other population over the past months.

My new friend shared how she had been in recovery before, and even racked up some years of clean time. She talked about how this time is different because she is getting the help that she needs from several local agencies, and because she is ready for a change. She shared how her two older children have watched her addiction nearly kill her, and have chosen to separate themselves from her life.  Although the experience of separation is heart-wrenching, she is able to see the light at the end of the long, dark tunnel.

She inhaled deeply as she expressed gratitude for the chance to focus on herself, her own recovery and healing. Her life as a daycare provider, single mother, and survivor of domestic abuse has been trying and has not allowed her the space to heal. She is grateful for these moments to exhale, and to focus on her recovery 100 percent. She expressed faith that she will reunite with her children and that they will again live under the same roof in a home of their own.

She expressed gratitude for me as I begin to find a volunteer Trusted Mentor for her; as she knows she can’t walk this road alone. She is excited about the prospect of a healthy female relationship, one that is nurturing and life-giving, one that she has been longing for.

I am thankful for our mentors, just as she is.  

Friday, September 14, 2012

Mentoring is all about Relationship


I remember hearing a quote recently that really struck a chord. It went something like this “our society is good at giving to the poor, but not good about knowing the poor.” When I hear from potential and current mentors, the number one reason they decide to mentor can be summed up in one word:  RELATIONSHIP.

Mentoring is all about relating. I recently spent some time with one of our mentor pairs, Jean and Olivia (names changed for confidentiality). The mentee was taking care of a family member in need, and as a result, had put herself in a challenging situation. The mentor, recognizing this, helped her mentee walk through a resolution to the problem without damaging the family relationship.  This mentee is an ex-offender and was allowing her desire for restored family relations to override her decision-making.

This is a common scenario for our mentees who have been socially isolated due to homelessness or incarceration. Isolation breeds depression, and mental illness can result in another bout of homelessness for the mentee.

A second relational scenario comes to mind. One of our newer mentoring populations is youth aging out of the foster care system. One in four youth aging out of foster care ends up homeless.  One such young man was lucky enough to find a local program that assists these young adults in finding employment, education, and housing by the age of 25. This young man also found himself in an unhealthy living situation with his girlfriend. At a recent event, he shared with me how he “lost” himself in the relationship. Instead of working on his own goals for improvement, he focused solely on his girlfriend and her progress. Due to this dynamic, he ended up losing his housing, his transportation, and almost losing his employment. His mentor was able to support and encourage him in remaining housed, continuing his employment, and working towards applying to a local college. His mentor helped him  regain focus and stay encouraged.

Trusted Mentors has found that 90% of those being mentored remain housed while engaged in an active mentoring relationship through Trusted Mentors. Mentoring works because it is relationship-based.
Click on the link Youcanmentor. org for more information on how you can be a Trusted Mentor.  Find us on Facebook and Twitter!

Monday, November 7, 2011

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"

In the last two years, nineteen year old Tia has aged out of the foster care system, begun working on her college degree, become a mother for the first time, lost her housing, then moved into her own place for the first time with no furniture and few resources.  We matched Tia with Henecia in a mentoring relationship in January 2011.  


We recently asked Henecia to write about her experience mentoring Tia through Trusted Mentors.  This is what Henecia had to say:


""The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."  Vince Lombardi."

"I've often used this quote when I've prepared for various stages of my life.  I've even used the quote to inspire and motivate others.  However, my experiences with Trusted Mentors have provided a true meaning of those words for me and have fueled my passion to help those who desire to help themselves.  As I reflect on the amazing will of my mentee and the mentor/mentee relationship, two words come to mind: Mutualism & Impact."

"In science, mutualism describes a symbiotic relationship in which both organisms benefit from the relationship. I remember when I told my family that I had decided to become a mentor with Trusted Mentors, everyone had a similar response.  They all expressed that with my varied life experiences, education, international travels and time served as a military police officer, I would be an inspiration for my mentee."

"However, as it turns out, it is she who has inspired me.  So many people assume that the mentor is the one who inspires; but the tenacity, hope and determination of my mentee, Tia, inspires me every day."

"From the moment I met her, I have been influenced by her enthusiasm, optimism, diligence and determination. Tia epitomizes the concept that it doesn't matter how you start, hard work and endurance can overcome any obstacle."

"I have found that mentoring is the personification of Gandhi's famous quote, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."  It is through mentoring that an avenue is provided to impact the world, one person at a time.  Every life experience can be used to positively impact others."

"As our relationship grows daily, I am excited about the amazing opportunities that lie ahead for Tia and I.  My life has definitely been enhanced by my participation with Trusted Mentors, and I would recommend being a mentor to anyone who wants to make a difference in their community."

If you would like to learn more about our organization, becoming a mentor, or supporting us financially, please visit our website:  www.trustedmentors.org

Donate to Trusted Mentors Today!

Or contact Jeri Warner: jwarner@trustedmentors.org; 317-985-5041.


Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Bags2Riches Save The Date


Join us September 9th, 2011 from 6:30-8:30 PM for the 2011 Bags2Riches Gala!

Come enjoy food, fashion, and entertainment! 

Monday, June 13, 2011

The True Face of Homelessness

The True Face Of Homelessness

As a not-for-profit professional, I am new to the homeless prevention side of things.  So over the course of the last six months I have been trying to wrap my head around the TRUE face of homelessness.  What is the reality, not the stereotype, of the homeless?  How does it happen?  How do people end up on the streets? 

People have many preconceived notions about what the face of homelessness is; I know I did.  The stereotype is the dirty person on the street shaking a cup or pushing a shopping cart filled with their possessions; the man or woman under the bridge sleeping on a cardboard box.  We usually assume there is some sort of alcohol or drug problem, some level of laziness or mental instability that caused these people to get there. 

Last week I had a friend that, for all intensive purposes, was homeless for a week.  He did not end up sleeping in his car or on the streets because he had friends and family in the city, and a stable job.  However, his circumstance got me to thinking that if he did not have a support system around him, and a couple of circumstances had changed, he could have found himself sleeping in his car; or as Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live so eloquently liked to put it, “Sleeping in a van, down by the river!”

What if he were in a different city with no friends or family around?  What if his car broke down and he couldn’t make it to work and got fired?  What if he had a criminal history and couldn’t find another job quickly in this economy?  What if he started drinking more due to the stress and got arrested?  His possession in storage got seized and sold because he couldn’t pay for the storage unit? 

Now all of a sudden this average man is in a city with no family, no transportation, no job, few possessions, and quickly dwindling options.  What can he do?  What would you do?  Does the average person know how to survive this? 

This is the reality that many lower income families and individuals face.  Usually living paycheck-to-paycheck with little or no healthcare, few if any family or friends with the resources to fall back on; many people are just a few bad circumstances away from being homeless: the loss of a job, an unexpected illness, a death in the family, etc.  This is how an estimated 7,000 people find themselves homeless here in Marion County (Indianapolis, IN) every year; up to 1500 on any given night. 

Working families staying in hotel rooms long term because they have an eviction on their record so no one will rent to them; people sleeping in their cars because they have no family or friends that can take them in.    

This support system is the small thin line that separates many of our citizens from having a bed to sleep in, a roof over their head, and a place to take a shower, from those on the streets.

So the next time we see someone on the streets, let’s not assume we know what they’ve been through, or why they are there.  Let’s not assume that if we were placed in their circumstances that we would make better choices.  We never know what would happen until we’re in that situation.

It turns out, the true face of homelessness may not be that much different from our own.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Networking Event - Empowerment & Eggs

Trusted Mentors, Inc. will be holding their first annual Empowerment & Eggs professional networking breakfast on Thursday, April 28th, 2011 from 7:30-9:00 a.m. at Conseco Field House. 

Empowerment & Eggs will feature three speakers that many local business people and entrepreneurs will recognize; including: 


Michael (Mickey) Maurer, Chairman of the Board for the Indianapolis Business Journal Corporation; 
Ali Sales Roach, co-founder of Compendium Blogware; and Kemba Smith Pradia, nationally recognized and award winning speaker, and founder of the Kemba Smith Foundation.

The theme of Empowerment & Eggs is the power of mentoring in the lives of adults.  Over 70% of executive level business people say that they have had a mentor in their lives that has helped them achieve their goals. 

Trusted Mentors’ mission is to provide volunteer mentors to adults at-risk of homelessness, ex-offenders re-entering society, and young adults aging out of the foster care system.  In 2010, 86% of the adults in Trusted Mentor’s program remained house; while 81% of ex-offenders remained out of the prison system.  Trusted Mentors is the only organization in Indianapolis that provides mentors for at-risk adults. 

Businesses interested in sponsoring Empowerment & Eggs can do so at levels ranging from $500-$5,000.  Individual tickets can be purchased for $40.  All proceeds will go directly to Trusted Mentors to fulfill our mission of preventing homelessness through the power of mentoring. 

For more information, to purchase sponsorships, or individual tickets, contact: Jeri Warner, 317-985-5041; jwarner@trustedmentors.org. 

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About Trusted Mentors, Inc.: Founded in 2003 as a result of the Indianapolis Blueprint to End Homelessness, Trusted Mentors uses the power of mentoring to help stabilize the lives of adults at-risk of homelessness, ex-offenders re-entering society, and young adults aging out of foster care.  We are one of the first organizations nationally using this model for homeless prevention and ex-offender re-entry, and the only organization in Indianapolis to provide mentors to at-risk adults.  Since 2003, over 80% of adults working with Trusted Mentors have remained housed while in their program.  www.trustedmentors.org; @Trustedmentors